Nobody's Problem
by Yotsubadancesintherain5
Summary: An exploration of a geek that tries her best.
1. Ocean Goddess Take Me By the Hand

The offer had been made by a robot in a spiffy suit, extending his gloved hand and Alphys was pretty sure that this was how deals at crossroads occurred. That certainly would've come in handy when researching determination, but it was neither here nor there and besides the fact that the offer was much more benign.

"It's a fine part, darling, and I swear upon my circuits that the glitter will wash out in the bath," Mettaton said, an attempt to recruit a part for his new play.

"Ocean goddess," Alphys replied, "It just seems like a big part, and I'm not anything like an ocean goddess! I'm more of a garba… desert goddess."

"But a sea-faring heroine has no chance of meeting a desert goddess, my dear," Mettaton said. "And you shall not speak a word, if you so wish!"

Alphys made a humming noise at the declaration. The scales were beginning to tip in Mettaton's favor.

"What about Undyne," Alphys suggested, "S-s-she might like being a powerful goddess."

"Astute observation!" Mettaton dramatically laid his hand upon his square brow. "Alas, she has already claimed the role of heroine. I believe both you and I can agree that the green garb will suit her better?"

Alphys nodded. She didn't let the distractions of what such a heroic outfit would look like on Undyne in her assessment.

"I really won't have to morry, _worry_ about stuttering?"

"You can wear one of your anne… human memorabilia if you so choose!"

In rehearsals the play got more and more confusing each time they practiced, to which Alphys had a feeling that Mettaton would get a new idea and cram it into the show without much thought of easing it in; things like the sea-faring heroine suddenly growing wings, and the fortress where the kidnapped denizens were trapped having statues of Mettaton everywhere, and the clamshell where Alphys resided during her part kept getting more rhinestones.

But then she absolved herself by remembering that sometimes her anime, salvaged from what was once the dump, followed that same narrative and she didn't worry about the plot anymore.

Her dress for the part was flashier than the one used for rehearsals, the colors layered like the ocean and all its coral reefs, flowing outward like water.

Alphys found some courage in herself to wear such an outfit when Undyne declared that it was undoubtedly awesome.

Her make-up was minimal, with the glitter of sea blue the only outstanding element, and Alphys waited in the clamshell for her part when the play began.

The clamshell was lifted up from a panel in the stage, vocalizations as the sea-faring heroine met the goddess of the sea. Eagle-eyed play-goers would have noticed the Mew Mew Kissy Cutie omnibus peeking from under a fold of Alphys' dress.

There was a silent conversation between the pair, which ended with Undyne secretly giving a thumbs-up and a grin.

The stage became brighter and the clamshell closed as the ocean goddess joined the sea-faring heroine on her quest. Alphys continued her silent acting, hoping that nobody noticed the grimace she made when she almost slipped on her omnibus.

The plot was, as Alphys suspected, bouncing all over the place, but it came to a stand-still when the ocean goddess was felled in battle.

The sea-faring heroine's cries were louder than the artificial thunderstorm. The artificial rain washed away the glitter of the ocean goddess, the equivalent of blood cooling and the last breath. The dramatic tragedy caused tears to spring from Alphys' closed eyes, though they were inconspicuous with the rain.

And so it ended with the ocean goddess given back to the sea, and Alphys tried to make falling look somewhat elegant, as the wires slowly, carefully, made her fall against an ocean backdrop that got darker and darker.

The stage went dark, then lit up again with the actors and actresses joined in hands and bowing, as Mettaton announced that a sequel would be made. The cheery music was a dissonance from the somber final scene.

Even still, as Alphys rose up her arms and bowed again to the clapping audience, she could be glad that Mettaton included her in this; the shared experience of team work and creativity.


	2. Don't Eat Garbage

"Okay, watch your step," Alphys said as she stepped over a particularly large pile of garbage. Bratty and Catty, their tiny hands wrapped around her fingers and standing on either side of her, stepped over and their feet met the soft mush of the marsh.

"This is fun! Fun," Alphys added, and didn't get a response to that.

"Your face is red dots," Bratty said, and Catty responded with a giggle.

"Yes! Acne is common in, in Monsters, and I think Humans? We must look for a book on that."

Both of the girls looked up at her with puzzlement.

"We must find a treasure?"

That piqued their interest, and with her permission they ran to sift through the trash.

Alphys was left to her own pile, hoping, hoping that she could be a good semblance of a babysitter. From what she read, babysitters didn't take their charges to the dump because of threats like sharp needles or broken glass.

But she had surveyed the area, after receiving this task, and found that there was nothing harmful. Just soggy books and wrappers and strange little boxes that revealed discs inside.

Something pinched at her when she got through halfway of digging through the trash mountain and Alphys looked upward.

Bratty was standing over the edge of the abyss, giggling as she looked over. Catty was holding onto her companion's overall strap as a tiny tether.

"Get away from there!" Alphys shouted, and with speed that she didn't know she possessed she ran to them and pulled them back. All three of them fell backwards into the mushy water.

"Oh, thank God," Alphys said when she sat up and saw the pair beside her. Then there was crying from the children, a mixture of shock at being pulled back and perhaps the realization that what they were doing was dangerous.

"Nobody knows w-w-where that leads," Alphys said, her own voice becoming shaky and thick. "So don't, don't worry, I'll always come here with you both and keep you safe."

They clung to her and cried, and Alphys let her marsh-stained arms wrap around them and hold them close.

She smelled like garbage but she didn't feel like trash at the moment.


	3. Underswap

If Alphys could define the three most important things to her it would be, in that order, her friends, her work-out regime and anime. Her goal was to free her friends from this state, and her work-out regime was a vital tool in this.

A Human was extraordinarily strong, even if they were quite tiny. A malicious thought could dust a Monster, so she dedicated herself to being the strongest, mightiest, and heroic protector to her people.

Anime was a strange creation by Humans, a thing that she indulged in because the stories gripped her, and despite everything love or hope or friendship or all three prevailed.

Alphys would enjoy such entertainment with a pack of ramen noodles. The noodles were bland until she added the flavor packet and sometimes a dash of grounded up spices. Sometimes even a sweet was allowed.

She would invite Undyne sometimes, as her friend was quite enamored with the fight scenes. Then Undyne would wonder if such fights still occurred, stumbling on every other word in her excitement, and Alphys would declare that it must still happen because it was right there on the screen.

Undyne would always leave the house with a bounce in her step after watching these shows and sometimes it would alleviate Alphys' worry about her working too hard.

She once invited Queen Toriel to watch. The anime Alphys had chosen was low-key, what she understood as a slice of life, with an ordinary human family going about their daily lives.

Queen Toriel politely declined any invitation to watch anime after that.

Overall, despite not much to offer in the underground, Alphys' life was never boring. Sans was always a bundle of energy, and the kids in Snowdin looked up to her and cheered for her.

Sometimes it made Alphys feel pulled in two different directions. If a Human really fell down here and she had to fight them, could she do it? In the aftermath, if this was to occur, could she fight an army of Humans on the surface, knowing that they were capable of writing heart-wrenching, heart-pounding, wonderful stories?

For this, she did not know the answer.


	4. a lily among the dust

She should have done something when she first saw the child shamble out of the ruins, dust clinging to their clothes.

The slaughter was on camera, Monsters reduced to dust, the grains carried off by the wind. The dust mixed with the snow, and still she did not call anyone, did not run out to warn anyone.

She did nothing.

A part of her clung to the idealistic thought that this villain would remember the goodness within them, as it was to happen in fiction.

Papyrus was cut down.

The massacre continued in Waterfall, and a thought crawled up her spine, that even if this child turned their back on violence it wouldn't erase the evil that they caused.

Undyne took the killing blow and it was like the world crashed down but then the warrior stood tall and fought for the fate of every living being.

The child soon experienced the pain they caused, blood staining their clothes, sometimes little white pebbles fell from their mouth into the marsh. There was a sickening crack once, and the child's arm held brokenly, but still they fought.

Even Undyne could not withstand the seething hatred, and her dust sunk into the marsh as the child swung their knife at nothing for a long while.

She stepped back from the monitor, choking on air and sobs, a poisonous feeling crawling into her whole body.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry," she said, to Undyne, to the Monsters in the ruins, Snowdrake, the Royal Guard, everyone that was dead.

She swiped at her eyes during her mantra, and the sight of the child continuing their journey made her rub her eyes until she saw clearly. She stood up straighter.

She did another horrible thing. Crying would never change the past. There was still time, and she would lead her fellow Monsters to a safe haven.

She would take any consequence for what she had done. Now it was the time to make things right.


	5. Can We Tell You Something?

It was the sort of thing that Alphys found out made her nervous. But a good kind of nervous, happy words bubbling up and bursting in a tangent, going up and down on her tiptoes, sometimes bits of laughter under her breath.

She was waiting for Undyne by the door, as her girlfriend was just finishing up getting ready. Of course, after the news was declared Undyne really wouldn't be called her girlfriend. Not quite, yes, in a technical sense, but it would be a nice in-between word that was found in romantic comedies and novels.

Alphys wasn't quite accustomed to the term fiancée just yet. It was a good word, to be sure, fee-ahn-say, something like that when she spoke it; Alphys decided right then in the living room that fiancée was one of the top three words she had learned since leaving the underground.

She had tried to go about the super amazing route of being romantic about the proposal. She tried to reprogram Undyne's favorite fighting game for the end screen to read "WILL YOU MARRY ME," instead of the rather bland, "YOU WIN," but it was a totally different beast from inviting a ghostly friend into a robotic body.

It took an all-nighter for this plan to be discovered, to which Undyne came into Alphys' lab when it was 4 a.m. because she woke up to get water and found the light on. Alphys was a groggy mess, languidly typing away at a never-ending green screen, her prints for her plan in the open and slightly stained with coffee and water.

Undyne simply lead her to bed and gave her the answer late in the afternoon when Alphys finally woke up from her needed rest.

And now it was time to announce it to everyone else. It was the sort of thing that Alphys wished time could slow down for, that this nebulous good thing could exist for a few more moments before becoming tangible. It was the sort of thing that she never would've thought could happen, but it was here and real, and she would shout it from the rooftops.

The click of the freezer door closing made Alphys break out of her thoughts, leaving a slightly dazed feeling in her head, and Undyne entered the living room with a popsicle.

Undyne held out the popsicle and Alphys accepted. The coolness of the treat made her calm down though she still couldn't stop smiling. The taste was unexpected, a sort of watermelon flavor though the popsicle was colored blue, and she couldn't help but think of Waterfall with all its ice, marsh, flowers, echoing wishes and never-ending rain.

The blue stained stick showed a pun that made her scrunch up her face. Then she stood on her tiptoes and gave a kiss to Undyne, and when she drew away the giddy laughter that was already building was amplified when she saw that Undyne was now sporting a small, blue stain on her mouth.

They would tell their friends of this news soon. But for now there was this pocket of time, just for them.


	6. what we are and will be

Mettaton was safely on his charger, and Alphys was in the process of reconstructing his arms and legs. It was a reckless thing that he had done and she felt rather like that one mechanist anime character that had to work with automail. Alphys only saw her in one page of a soggy book, but it looked like the style of anime and it instantly popped into her head.

Any angry words that she would've had died away when she remembered how such a thing occurred. Somehow their bond had been stretched thin, so much so that Alphys was willing to paint her friend as a blood-thirsty Human killing machine and he was willing to reveal the trickery.

If only it could be so easy to go back to when they were just a two-Monster club gushing about the surface world. But there was no way, and that brief, horrible second when she couldn't tell what happened to Mettaton jolted her into realizing how careless the whole charade had been.

The child had no judgment. Just a quiet walk to the elevator that would take them to Asgore.

The silent contemplation was knocked aside, a feeling that she was falling and never hit the ground, snippets of a conversation – a phone, Asgore died, the souls were gone the child hadn't answered, were they okay? – before reality settled itself rightfully and Alphys looked around.

A chill went down her spine.

She got back to busying herself with repairing Mettaton, and began to set the arms into their proper place. The legs were harder, as gravity worked against her, but in time they were safely screwed in and functional. Now Alphys would have to wait for him to wake up.

They would have to have a talk about what occurred and it set a rolling feeling in her stomach but it was something she couldn't avoid forever.

There was a knock at her lab door and she walked down the stairs. A letter had been pushed under the door.

Alphys' core instinct was to push the letter back out. But this was just the same, and she picked up the letter. She breathed out and gathered her courage and opened the envelope.

**A/N: Originally posted on AO3 April 1 2019 to April 6 2019**

**Thank you for reading this.**

**So. Funny story about Alphys. When I first heard of Undertale I didn't have Steam or anything like that so I watched a playthrough. Somehow, I really don't know how, I completely missed that she was tricking you with Mettaton. I didn't encounter any fanworks that expanded on this either. It wasn't until a year later, when I got to play Undertale for myself, that the penny dropped and it clicked.**


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